My husband is exploiting me financially, so what should I do?

Families who do not understand each other face problems and conflicts between spouses, especially when the wife is an employee who receives a special salary or is financially prosperous from an inheritance she inherited from her family, as the spouses enter into conflict over matters of spending and the exploitation that accompanies it.

In this regard, a reader complains that her husband, whenever she honors him, reciprocates her kindness to him with abuse, and that if she gives generously to him, he becomes more stingy and miserable, and despite the good she does, he takes advantage of her and oppresses her, wondering how to deal with him?

The family advisor, Issa Al-Maskari, answers: Marriage is built on a solid foundation and a lofty goal, before which all sensual material things and digital calculations dissolve. The husband who spends with love and compassion finds his wife goodness, blessing, and wealth. The wife only advances through her morals. If she contributes to building her kingdom by giving, the house will beautify and increase. In it there is prosperity. Giving is not spoiled except by misfortune, and reward is not lost except by harm, and the wife does not look at what she spends with calculations. Only worldly, there are eternal afterlife balances. The wife is part of this marital kingdom that was built only with sacrifice, mercy, affection, and benevolence.

This phenomenon is widespread among men. The wife is honored but finds nothing but abuse from him. She gives her money and then finds exploitation or belittling from it. It may be an emergency depending on the financial situation the man is going through, or a permanent situation such as an ingrained habit, an acquired personality, or bad upbringing, and not all. Men are of such poor character, there are giants of character who are great in generosity and generosity.

There are four types of men: a man who, if you honor him, is lavish in giving, generous in generosity, diligent in loyalty, does more goodness, is quick to do righteousness, beautifies himself with benevolence, and returns credit to people of virtue. If you find him, hold on to him, for he is among the best of people, and the most beautiful of them. Characteristics, and the best of them in character, he is considered an expensive currency like gold, and a precious metal like a rare jewel. If he lacks, he will be serious about a kind word and good treatment. If you ask him, he will borrow for you. If you ask him, he would prefer you over himself, then congratulations to the wife whom God has blessed with this type of husband, for she must cling to him and compete with him in generosity, morals, and generosity.

The second type deals with the wife in the same way. If she honors him, he honors her. If she gives to him, he reciprocates the gift. He deals with her according to what she deals with him, dirham for dirham. He measures her giving from her with a balance, like a merchant who only gives to the buyer in return.

The third is a husband who does not know the virtue of his wife, nor does he feel it, even if she is good to him, and no matter how generous she is to him, he does not appreciate this generosity from her. He takes but does not know how to give. He asks and no one can take from him. He is always in need. He approaches the one who gives him, so his interest is a priority, and his relationship with He has a clear and visible financial relationship with his wife. He does not take offense when denied, and does not know the value of giving.

And the fourth applies to the saying of the one who said: “If you honor the generous, you will control him… and if you honor the mean, you will rebel.” Kindness is met with abuse, giving with mockery, known as evil, and good with evil. He is one of the most difficult people to deal with. The wife must deal with him with caution, firmness, and intelligence. It is not beneficial for him to give too much, as his bad qualities may be strengthened. Rather, giving should be in proportion to the need, giving in proportion to his value. Dealing with this type of man is difficult, especially if you come back from… His wife has a lot of generosity and giving, so she should reduce it gradually, and deal with the situation with patience. She must show wisdom in dealing with him, and live with him according to his virtues. Every person has pros and cons. Reducing giving suddenly may weaken marital relations, but reducing at times is a kind of Types of medicine: If she is able to replace material giving with emotional giving with good obedience and beautiful treatment, the wife seizes the opportunity to advise but with kindness, and admonish but with wisdom, reminding him of stories. Beneficial verses and the Sunnah of the Prophet remind him of God but with affection, guiding him that most people will enter Paradise because of their good character, and is there anything more beautiful than the character of generosity, righteousness, generosity and benevolence?

Although this phenomenon has spread, as the wife mentioned, in her home or in some circles of society, it has only spread due to a lack of awareness, a lack of understanding of psychology, and how they treat each other badly.

The husband will continue to rise to high levels through generosity, spending, and generosity, just as a good wife, if she obeys her husband and does good, will have the right to enter Paradise through any of its doors she wishes.