Psychological consultant Dr. Lama Al-Safadi revealed that marital spying and attempts to hack phones are a widespread behavior at the present time, attributing this to psychological loopholes in men with multiple relationships, and psychosis, schizophrenia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder in women who stalk their husbands, spy on them, or try to hack their phones and spy on them.
Al-Safadi said, “The phenomenon has spread recently with the emergence of many options for spying and tracking, such as small microphones that some people plant in the car to record or listen to the other party’s calls, or using hackers to hack the husband’s or wife’s accounts on social media platforms, or trying to obtain the password through what is known as social engineering, or even searching the other party’s phone that is not secured with a password.”
“This big dilemma is related to ‘options’. For example, a wife who is obsessed with getting her husband’s phone password should ask herself, as we always ask her, is the password a source of security? What is the benefit of following you and insisting on hacking the phone or finding out the husband’s secrets? Here, the only absolute answer is ‘no’, because the person who makes a mistake, whether by getting involved in fleeting or even long-term relationships, suffers from psychological gaps and is smart enough to hide these relationships. He can leave his phone open for his wife and show her all the signs of security and reassurance, while hiding a big secret,” she added.
Al-Safadi explained that a wife who does this may encounter ridiculous content, whether in conversations, pictures, or otherwise, which will annoy and bother her and cause a major rift. She noted that she asked a clear question to the cases that went through this experience, especially wives: Are you prepared to leave your husband and separate? The answer was no by 80%, and therefore there is no justification for destroying married life and causing a state of tension, anxiety, and mutual anger.
She continued: “There are psychological justifications for a man having multiple relationships, and perhaps the matter develops into a religious precaution, and in this case, the wife must be tactful towards the husband.”
Al-Safadi said: “It is a matter of personal choices in the end. The relationships that a man goes through outside of marriage can start and end without the wife knowing about them, and things between them remain as good as they can be. Some call it ‘treachery and betrayal’, while others consider it ‘personal choices’.”
She pointed out that “there is a cognitive defect regarding the nature of marriage, due to the culture spread through social media. There is a state of hypocrisy issued by some who pretend to have a wonderful and ideal marital relationship, but the truth is that married life is full of pitfalls.”
She said: “We must understand an important fact related to the psychological state of each party, because our psychological complexes are what determine our choices. There is a person who suffers from emotional need or because he has left an anxious and confused environment, which pushes him to enter into relationships that provide him with the same environment in which he lived before.”
Al-Safadi continued: “On the other hand, the eavesdropping party suffers from psychosis, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, and has a constant obsession that someone is conspiring against him, and is always searching for evidence of betrayal, and may fabricate this evidence if it does not exist. So you find the woman questioning her husband’s behavior in public places, for example, why did she smile at so-and-so or talk to her with exaggerated affection? And the disturbed man does the same thing.”
She added, “There are those who rush into alternative relationships because the other party constantly doubts their behavior, and they do so in a vengeful manner.”
She said that the wounded woman adopts ready-made ideas that appear in questions she directs to her husband who is involved in another relationship, such as: What would be your position if I were the cheating party? And did I fail you in anything to make you get involved with another woman? Explaining that she is trying to avenge her dignity with these questions.
She stressed the necessity of building married life on tolerance and giving opportunities continuously, especially if it is based on love and affection, and there are children between them, because a relationship built on suspicion and accusations is destructive to the children.
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