A tomboy wants to marry and have children with her lover

Two girls revealed to a television program broadcast by Abu Dhabi Al-Oula Channel about remarkable details of the lives of tomboys based on their personal experiences, as the first expressed her desire to marry and have children with her lover, while the second said that she was only interested in women. Consultant psychiatrist Dr. Tariq Al-Habib pointed out the spread of the phenomenon of tomboy girls, or what is known as “girlfriends,” in the Gulf countries, stressing that their percentage varies according to society and the prevailing culture, and that “the abnormal person needs psychological treatment if he wants to change, provided that the treatment is from Before a psychologist who is aware of the condition and is able to subject it to a therapeutic progression, and not a religious preacher who relies on the principle of what is permissible and what is forbidden.”

Al-Habib explained in an interview on Abu Dhabi Channel 1 on the topic of tomboy girls within the “Khutwa” program by Dr. Khalifa Al Suwaidi, that “tomboys or (girls) are a widespread phenomenon in many universities and schools. Some of them feel that they are female on the inside but have homosexual tendencies, guided by sexual desire.” “And some of them have an identity disorder, where they feel internally that they are a male in a female body with complete female organs.”

The program presented two cases of tomboys. The first case was a tomboy named Badriya. She preferred that the program’s announcer call her by her male name (Bandar), especially since she had been accustomed to being called by this name since her childhood by her mother and her relatives, and she saw her resemblance to men in appearance, behavior, and thinking as personal freedom. Badriya says, or ( Bandar) “I cannot imagine myself as a female, especially since those around me used to call me Bandar for my childish behavior, and in passing… Over the years, Bandar’s personality took over Badriya. I started buying my clothes from men’s stores, and getting my hair cut like a boy at a male barber who came to the house. I lived with Bandar’s personality and felt like a male, and this showed in my behavior and movements. Most people did not accept me and others got used to my appearance. Days ago, I met (Maha), a beautiful girl, and my relationship with her strengthened, so we started meeting at my house or in a hotel.”

Badriya continued, “I love my friend and intend to travel abroad and marry her. I thought that we would start a family and have children by subjecting her to a fertilization procedure in a medical center, and I would practice my role as a breadwinner for the family,” stressing, “I am not a psychological patient who needs treatment, because I express what I feel.”

In a phone call with the program, Maha, Badriya’s friend, confirmed that she is trying to help her by keeping her away from homosexuality and standing by her. She pointed out that her relationship with Badriya had at a previous stage reached the limits of a sexual relationship between spouses, but she reconsidered some forbidden practices, pointing out that she suffers from weakness. In terms of personality, as soon as she got to know Badriya, she found support and attention, stressing that if she had found a man with the same characteristics as Badriya, such as attention and love, she would not have hesitated to marry him and leave Badriya.

The other case is Umm Hamdan, a married woman with homosexual tendencies. She believes that she lacks emotion and tenderness. She likes to be treated as a male, but the conservative society to which she belongs stood as an obstacle to her liberation.

Umm Hamdan says, “I suffer from a severe lack of tenderness and love. I tried to compensate for them with manifestations of masculinity, and I became a man while I was certain that I was a female, and I went too far until my family decided to marry me, so I agreed in the hope that this would improve my affairs, which failed, especially with my obtaining the freedom that I had been deprived of.” In my family’s house,” and Umm Hamdan continues, “I tried to stop this behavior, but I do not love my husband and I am not interested in men at all, and I offered myself Psychiatrists, but they were treated according to the principle of what is permissible and what is forbidden, which I am certain of, otherwise I would not have asked for help.” Today, Umm Hamdan, who is repentant, as she described it, confirms that she will not return to homosexuality, even if she only has an inclination toward women.

Al-Habib explained, “There are four axes that may produce an abnormal person: the genetic axis, the external appearance, the internal feeling, and the hormonal axis, which is represented by the hormonal disorders that occur with people who have inclinations for both sexes, especially in military barracks and boarding schools where the same sex is available.”

Al-Habib, in his capacity as a psychological mufti, criminalized punishment by feeling, as long as the homosexual did not engage in sexual intercourse, noting that “Western societies gave rights to homosexuals, including the right to marry, and psychologists treated cases seeking treatment by alleviating the feeling of guilt, but we do not demand that they be granted rights, but rather we seek treatment.” The issue, especially since the issue of loss of identity is one of the problems threatening the Gulf states.” He said, “Differentiating between males and females in the home is necessary, as sexual identity is formed at an early age, ranging between two and three years, while sexual orientation or sexual inclination, which is the most dangerous, is formed at a later period, so that the male who is raised in an environment that is all female shows signs of softness. The opposite is true for a female who is raised among males, so she shows features of roughness, even though her external features are feminine.” He pointed out that “the father in particular plays a prominent role in the lives of the children, who see in him the role model and toughness that affects the character of the boy and the girl’s future lover, as most tomboys and effeminate women grow up in societies where the father is absent from the family.” Psychological treatment for homosexuals is divided into two parts: the first is those who want to change, and the second is those who do not want to change, and there is no treatment for these people as long as they are not convinced of the idea of ​​change at all. The treatment begins with suppressing sexual desires and not giving vent to them except with the heterosexual sex in a legal and permissible form, and stopping homosexual fantasies from occurring. During abstinence from masturbation, and finally therapeutic cleansing by crowding out the positives over the negatives and imposing self-punishment in which he makes an effort.